McClelland Minute - July 28, 2010

Who should our client be?

Thank you to the reader of this column who recently dropped off an article for me to read taken from a University magazine emphasizing the need for first time buyers to appreciate how important home ownership can be to their future, particularly in building wealth for themselves and future generations. 

This is generally a true statement, but the last couple of years have proven that in order for this to happen consistently, one needs to also “stay the course” through the rough patches.  It is not automatic that real estate gains in value, in fact, historically there have always been cyclic swings in the market; such as the prolonged one we have just experienced when owners need to hang on for the ride until the economy improves.

The author of the article thought one of the hedges that support progressive real estate ventures is a good education.  Again, I can’t really disagree with him or her, however I believe that knowledge can be gained in a number of different ways, and certainly not always in the classroom or on a computer.  There is no replacement for one on one coaching and support from an experienced professional or at least an individual who has successfully traded real estate a number of times.

There are two generational tendencies that can prove quite annoying to a Realtor trying to provide good service to a first time home buyer, young or mature.  The first has been experienced in a number of venues, and not just real estate.  It is called the “helicopter parent”. 

These well meaning moms and dads just can’t let go of their adult children for long enough for them to exercise their own judgment.  Unfortunately as the newest generation of young home buyers comes into the market we see more and more of parental involvement, even to the point of telling a thirty year old son what he should or shouldn’t be looking for in a house or neighbourhood.  For heaven’s sake, let the guy breathe a little! 

I think the worst example I personally have witnessed is the future mother-in-law completely ignoring her daughter’s fiancé, and proceeding to dissect every house we looked at on the basis of whether or not it would support a family of four.  If they were planning children at some point in the future, the enthusiasm I am sure was considerably dampened by grandma-to-be’s controlling behaviour.  In fact, this couple ended up not getting married.  Gee, I wonder why?

The antithesis to the helicopter parent is what I call the “hovering child”.  This happens on the other end of the spectrum, usually when a parent is seeking to downsize into something that is easier to maintain, closer to services, and with neighbours of similar age and interests.  In flies the dominant adult child and proceeds to take charge.  Too many times, we find ourselves ensuring that everyone’s voice is heard, after all it is the older family member’s home we are choosing, and  they deserve the best that is available that will meet his or her needs and budget.

Sometimes the adult child may have a hard time letting go of the family home, plus is worried that the parent will make a mistake they may regret.  I have even seen children attempt to limit Mom or Dad’s spending or strive to force them to move away from their longtime friends and community, to be closer to one family member or another so it will be easier to support them.  As a Realtor it is not our role to get between family members, but sometimes we sure wonder whose needs we are trying to meet.

Vern McClelland is associate broker with RE/MAX of Lloydminster.  If you have questions or comments on this article or other real estate matters, he can be reached at 780.808.2700 or through the McClelland Group website www.mcclelland.ca

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